The Common Man sighed deeply. He lifted the corpse of Vetala from atop Parliament House, heaved it upon his shoulders and and began walking. Vetala admired his perseverance but said out loud unto him “O common man, I do not know what goal you are persevering for. What is the ultimate objective that brings you here again and again? With the instability that prevails today, you’ll have to come to this house again and again to pick me up. This country is in for elections after elections now. Anyway, let me narrate to you the story of the ticket seeker’s death. It will relieve you of some of your boredom.”
“Yet another story!” the Common Man swore under his breath. “You are as hell-bent on telling me a story as the leaders of this country are on creating instability,” he thought. But he kept quiet.
And Vetala began his narration.
“Chitragupta was scanning through the records as usual. He had before him the file of the Ticket Seeker. It was not surprising that the Ticket Seeker was trying his best to get a party ticket during the present elections too. He was a past master in winning friends and even his strongest detractors would admit this. He had his friends in the camps of both the minister and the president of the state unit. That the two of them did not see eye to eye with each other made little difference to the Ticket Seeker. For him, the enemy of his friend was also a friend. What mattered was the party ticket not the interpersonal relationships within the party.
That was precisely why he had alerted his contacts at the high command level. One should not leave anything to chance. Only the other day he had organized a record crowd during the visit of the party president. Everybody was impressed. He would surely get a ticket this time. A formal announcement was all he was waiting for.
The Ticket Seeker smiled to himself. The party president does believe in maintaining as much suspense as possible. He would not commit till the formal announcement was made. The Ticket Seeker had asked the president a leading question while seeing him off, “Sir, should I go ahead with the election campaign?”
The president had cast a sideways glance at him and said “well, the party propaganda should be geared up. As far as the list of candidates is concerned, it is in the safe-custody of the president of the state unit. It will be released in a few days.”
The Ticket Seeker did not betray any annoyance at all. He maintained his ear to ear grin.
But man proposes and the president disposes. Chitragupta could clearly see that Ticket Seeker was in for a shock. His name did not figure in the list of candidates. His arch rival Mr. Crafty had been nominated by the party this time.
Quite frankly, the reason for the rejection was very silly. During the previous visit of the President, the Ticket Seeker had been delayed by some ten minutes in reaching the helipad. The president was not amused and in no time a cross-mark of disapproval had found its way against his name in the memory of the computer.
According to Chitragupta’s calculations, the Ticket Seeker was destined to die immediately after the declaration of the list of candidates. The shock of his expulsion would be unbearable, and Chitragupta felt sorry for him. It was unjust that his name be excluded for such a small lapse. But it could not be helped. As per the present calculations that was the result.
He started checking the final account of Ticket seekers’s deeds. But lo and behold! There was an error: The Accounts Department had overlooked a whole set of good deeds of the Ticket Seeker. Chitragupta cursed swiftly. Of late, such mistakes were occurring a little more frequently than he could stomach. He decided to reiterate his proposal for a five-day week. This six-day week was rather tiring.
But that was not the immediate issue. The accounting gaffe had to be rectified first. Chitragupta thought for a while and then smiled to himself. His idea was surely brilliant. Why not pull up the death by a day and save the poor chap the humiliation of rejection? The Ticket Seeker’s death would also come in handy for the high command. This can be an excuse for including the name of Mr. Crafty.
Chitragupta felt quite pleased with himself. He rescheduled the death of Ticket Seeker to the previous night on account of his good deeds which had been overlooked by the Accounts Department. Having finalized the accounts, he informed the concerned sections about the rescheduling, and called it a day.
As per the standard drill, the Yamadoots from Death Section would cause the concerned person’s death at the fixed time and the Yamadoots of the Stores Department would pick up the soul for onward transmission. But the rescheduling had caused some disruption in the normal work flow. While the Yamadoots of Death Section did their job on time, the Stores Department Yamadoots had been delayed by a few moments. By the time they reached, the soul of Ticket Seeker had vanished from its place!
The Yamadoots were dumbfounded. Their Death Section colleagues had just informed them that the soul of Ticket Seeker had been kept below the pillow on which his head was resting. But there was no trace of the soul. They made a thorough search of the entire house, but no luck!
This was a serious matter. If the soul could not be traced before sunset there would be trouble. They decided to inform Chitragupta immediately.
Chitragupta got worried. Trouble does not come alone. It always follows Murphy’s laws. What if the soul get into some other vacant body? He still remembered the case of the opposition MP whose soul had stealthily smuggled itself into the body of a senior leader of ruling party. Both persons had to be treated in the ICU for cardiac problems.
All hell had broken loose after that! The senior leader raised a banner of revolt against the High Command, caused large scale defection — you name the political crisis and he did create it. Chitragupta had a very tough time in overcoming the problem. He shuddered to recollect those details even now.
But this was not the time to brood about the past. He quickly organized a flying squad equipped the with latest soul-searching devices and sent them off to the earth. He then proceeded to appraise Yama of the problem. The two Yamadoots went along.
Yamaraj was livid with rage. He was already unhappy with the proposal of a five-day week and the demand for overtime. Today’s lapse was too much! He immediately ordered the suspension of both Yamadoots.
But suspension was no solution. It was necessary to nab the missing soul before the sunset, lest it become free from the cycle of birth and death. In that, Yama’s explanation would have been called for.
Such moments of crisis are always opportune for Narada’s entry into the scene. And it was just then that he made an appearance.
One look at Yama’s angry face, Chitragupta’s expression of anxiety and the fallen faces of the Yamdoots, was enough for him to sense crisis. He asked “you look a little upset, O Yama. Can I be of some help?”
Before Yama could say anything, Chitragupta submitted with folded hands “There is indeed a crisis, O great Sage….”
Narada listened patiently. They indeed had a problem on their hands. He smiled when Chitragupta pleaded “…. help us, O Sage! You have such wealth of experience and information. There is hardly any sage who can equal you in this.”
Narada was indeed a storehouse of experience. Very few people knew that he had spent a few years residing in the body of a Senior Advisor to the Prime Minister. It is a different matter altogether that the Senior Advisor was nicknamed ‘Narada’ for his Machiavellian methods. Narada fondly remembered the clout, the crowd, the yes-men, the fawning ticket seekers…
He addressed himself to the problem at hand. He looked at the Yamdoots and said, “Tell me O unfortunate creatures, as many details as you can. Perhaps I can find some way out.”
The Yamdoots grabbed the opportunity promptly. They told him all the details including the last minute rescheduling of the Ticket Seeker’s death to the previous night.
They ignored Chitragupta’s glare. Chitragupta was in a tight corner. He sheepishly explained the reasons for rescheduling— but only after getting an assurance of ‘immunity’ from Yama.
Narada listened patiently. To him, the entire issue was crystal clear, “You were looking for the soul in the wrong place,” he observed, “Let me tell you where you’ll find it”.
He whispered a few words in the ears of the Yamdoots. Both of them set forth towards earth at once. Chitragupta waited for their return with a bated breath. Yama was skeptical but patient.
The beaming faces of the returning Yamadoots told the whole story. They fell at Narada’s feet. The soul was exactly where Narada had predicted.
“Hats off, great Sage” said Yama although he was wearing a crown. “How on earth could you make it out sitting here….?
Narada cut him short, “Elementary, my dear Dharmaraja …”
Vetala stopped narrating the story at this stage and asked unto the Common Man, “Tell me O’ Common Man, what was Narada’s guess and how was he so accurate? If you know the answer but still stay silent your head will splinter into as many pieces as there are voters in a constituency.”
The Common Man sighed deeply once again and said, “I knew, O Vetala, that you’d ask me such a simple question.”
“Even though Chitragupta rescheduled the Ticket Seeker’s death by a day, the Ticket Seeker was all eyes ears and soul for the list of candidates which was in the safe custody of the president of the state unit. As soon as he died, his soul rushed to see the list as its last desire had remained unfulfilled. When it found the name missing from the list, the soul of Ticket Seeker kept hovering around the list inside the almirah. The Yamdoots could not figure it out because of their inexperience but to Narada, it was obvious.”
“Remarkable”, observed Vetala, “your political commonsense is praiseworthy. In fact it is on account of the Common Man’s strong political commonsense that the country has survived its politicians.”
“Thank you,” said the Common Man. But as his silence had been breached, Vetala flew back to the roof of Parliament House.
The Common Man cast a wistful glance at him and began walking towards the Parade Ground. The election campaign was in full swing.